Awkward Moments

In the latest saga of the chapter of the story of my life over the past month, I've encountered a couple awkward situations: finding people you already know, and encounters with people you've seen on an online dating site but aren't quite sure if it's that person.  I think the former is a bit easier than the latter, especially if you have some form of contact outside of the dating site such as e-mail or social media.  A private note exclaiming: "Hey! So I'm single and on this dating site and was searching through people, and found this extremely good looking person who looked familiar.  Let's just say that this person reminded me of you, and made me think that I haven't seen you in XX years. How about we meet for drinks to catch up on things?"

If only things were that easy for the other side... How exactly do you approach someone that you barely know (and are even possibly just assuming it's that person)?  The case is made even worse when the online alias is something like "cuddlybear17x17" or "thisisnotmyrealname".  What kind of conversation starter is that, to go up to someone and ask them if they're "anotheralias101", from this online dating site?  Or, maybe it's better to wait until you get home and shoot a message through the site asking if they were at some place and you really weren't stalking them but had legitimate reasons to be there like your cousin's car was on fire and you just happened to be en-route to the scene?  I think I just answered my questions....

Tact: I Call / Messaging (to decipher, just say it fast)

After a first date, there's supposedly a rule about how long to wait before messaging someone.  I imagine that somewhere in ancient times it took a few days to hire a dude with a chisel to etch an image into a slate of rock that you had to give to someone on a horse or boat in order to just say: "Hey, I had a great time and want to do that again."  Then when while the girl drew a response in blood on an animal skin you had to ponder if she was eaten by velociraptors or just plain didn't like you.  In modern times this reportedly takes 3 days.  Seriously, get a smart phone.

We use excuses like "you have to make her wait, or you seem desperate" or "girls need time for mystery and wanting".  How about, "I want to hang out, otherwise I'm going to a monster truck rally with my bro-hams."  I say we start a new trend of just sending messages until girls respond with "yeah you're annoying me" (in which case it probably wasn't going to work) or "I'm glad you messaged me because I feel like Cher from Clueless" (full disclosure I'm not exactly sure if that's how it went with her gay friend, not that there's anything wrong with that, and I also only know that from being forced to watch that movie endlessly by a previous significant other #longestparantheticaladditionever).

An introduction to introductions

Writing a first message to someone is like submitting a resume to a company that already has another candidate in mind and is probably going to end up hiring internally anyways.  You're also never quite sure if you're even qualified for the position in the first place, because let's face it, you're not trying to make a lateral move here, you're trying for a board position.  If this was college, you'd at least have the opportunity to bribe your way into an executive spot with booze, but in your 30's that goes from being a misdemeanor to a federal crime.

Welcome to the Match Tour!

I've decided that as a relatively new member of Match.com and a few other dating sites, I would document my experiences as a racing car builder slash driver (and not the other way around).

So far, the hardest part in setting up with online dating has been doing so with complete and utter honesty.  Match is pretty basic since it just asks for a summary and a few pick-lists of activities, but how to describe yourself as a sarcastic asshole that is awesome at everything without sounding like a cocky douchebag?  I think the biggest problem is that sarcasm is totally lost in writing, and thus you've probably missed the point that the last point was pointing to: I'm really a nice guy that loves family and friends and enjoys lots of activities but also staying in by a warm fire.  This leads to my next problem: other people's descriptions of themselves.

Everyone is on some hypocritical bullshit.  Responsible career oriented person that just wants to have fun.  I appreciate the finer things in life, but I'm down to earth.  And it's vague, too.  I like TV, movies, puppies, and air.  Really?

So enough griping, apparently most people are just browsing through pictures anyways.  I'm out to go shoot some selfies....